That Could Have Been Danny
by montez
Summary: Slight extension of a scene in the Sarin episode. Steve's expression grabbed me and wouldn't let go until I put it to words.


That Could Have Been Danny  
By Montez  
Disclaimer: I would be happy with shared visitation, but alas it hasn't happened.

_A/N: Okay, this episode (the Sarin episode) is now my favorite of the few I've seen. I'm a Danny-girl and next to the carjacking episode, just love the caring and worry for Danny in this one. I can't wait for the DVD to come out so I can finally see all the episodes, and of course the premier on Sept. 19. I've always like Terry O'Quinn so I can't wait to see how he helps get Steve out of this mess. And is it me or is H50 becoming a Lost reunion show? Can't these two men get off that damn island or do they just love it that much? Well as long as the show stays awesome they can stay stranded all they want.  
__This story came to me in watching Steve's expression as he watched Yursky die, I just couldn't get past that look that screamed 'That could have been Danny', so this is my little filler, a slight extension of that scene. Hope you enjoy-Montez_

When Mikhail Yursky went over the fence I could tell something was wrong. He'd crashed his car, then took off down the alleyway, Chin and I ducked as he turned and fired shots at us. This was the man that supplied the Sarin; Kaye had a contact that found the signature to the toxin Danny was exposed to matched with what this man's known terrorist association was linked with.

As Yursky literally fell over the top of the ten foot fence I slowed, a small silver canister slipping from the man's hands as I watched his body convulse, foam coming form his mouth as he choked. Chin backed up saying he was calling an ambulance and Haz-mat, but all I could do was stare.

The image of Danny sitting heavily on the ground outside that residence this morning flooded my mind. I've worked with hundreds of men and women over the years, seen my fair share die in battle, it was never easy but you knew going in it was always a possibility. And yes I know Danny understands the risk of being a cop, but the panic, the fear I saw in his face as he sat against the wall, struggling to breath, I nearly stopped breathing myself. This was my partner, before I'd had teammates, but never a true partner, someone who I was with day in and day out. Someone who questioned everything, pointed out my mistakes, who behind his loud-mouthed bravado was trying to make me into a cop, and along the lines a better person.

In the months we'd worked together I'd seen that, he's given me someone I know without a doubt would be there for me if I needed him. Hell if it wasn't for him I don't know if I would have been able to keep it together enough to find my sister when she was kidnapped. The emotional roller-coaster my life had become since I returned to Hawaii was sometimes more than I could handle, than I was use to handling. I had trained to ignore my emotional involvement in any given situation and until I heard that gunshot that ended my father's life I had always been able to keep it under control. But now, if I was totally honest with myself, the partnership, the friendship I had developed with Danny has sometimes been the only thing holding me together, saving me from the darkness that fights so hard for my soul.

The man on the ground has stopped moving, the gargled, strangled sound of his futile attempt to draw in air gone, he was dead. In that moment the only thing that I could hear and see was Danny convulsing and the screaming in my head of _'that could have been Danny'. _Lowering my gun I backed away, my mind not seeing the alley, not the now dead man, but the ambulance, Danny's struggle to breath, the doctor's words that he didn't know how much longer Danny had. Yes the rational side of my brain knew Danny was doing fine, the antidote had saved his life, he had Grace at the hospital with him and was getting better. But the irrational side would not let go of the image behind me, wouldn't stop my mind from superimposing Danny's face on the now dead man.

I barely made it out of the alleyway, Chin turned as he heard me, he was on the phone. I made a slashing motion letting him know the guy was dead as I stumbled slightly, brushing against the wall. Chin's ever sharp gaze noticed my misstep and quickly hung up the phone, rushing to my side. "Steve?" I saw the same fear in his eye's as I had this morning as he too watched Danny convulse, the death-grip of the then unknown toxin stealing the life out of our friend.

"I'm good." I mumbled, not really believing it myself. I felt my stomach rebel at that moment as I emptied the meager contents on the sidewalk beside the suspect's car. If it hadn't been for Chin's strong grip on my arm I would have landed in the mess I'd created.

When I finished with the dry-heaves that followed, I felt my teammate pull me back some, easing me to the ground, "Sit, were you exposed?" Kelly's voice was strained, I knew, just like with me, he could not witness another person he knew, cared about, succumb to another exposure of Sarin.

I didn't realize I was shaking until I brought my hand up to rub my face, I shook my head slightly, "No…no," I couldn't do more than mumble. This wasn't me, I didn't let things get to me like this, but I knew in my mind this was different. This was so much closer to home than I normally dealt with. I finally decided to just say it, I knew Chin would understand, hell he was the most understanding person I had ever met in my life, so he'd know. "I just…" I looked into the older man's eyes and just saw concern reflected back. "That could have been Danny." I whispered, still afraid if I let my mind dwell on it I would return to the hospital and the good outcome would just have been a cruel joke and my partner would be gone.

Chin nodded in complete understanding, his calm voice helping ground me, "But it wasn't, Danny's going to be fine, remember? We found out in time and he's okay."

Again running my shaking hands over my face I nodded my own head, yes I remembered, Danny was responding to treatment, had been well enough for visitors. I'd seen with my own two eyes when I brought Grace into the room to see her father, Danny looked a little worse for wear, but he was alive and getting better. Closing my eye's I palmed them, the sounds of distant sirens pulled me back to reality. I went to push myself up off the ground, Chin's hand on my arm, helping me, steadying me. "You good?" the older man asked.

Taking a deep breath, making a mental note to never take that action for granted again, I pulled myself to my full height. "Yeah, I'm good…thanks."

Chin gave a comforting smile before patting my shoulder, "Don't worry about it, now let's see if we can figure out what this son of a bitch was doing in Hawaii and why he was carrying Sarin around with him."

I walked over and popped the trunk of the dead man's car just as backup and Haz-Mat showed up. What we found sent another chill through my body, dozens of silver bio-hazard transport containers. The worst part was we didn't know what they contained, but we were sure as hell gonna find out_._


End file.
